Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Lebanon Hopes to Beat Recently Set Israeli Hummus Record

An Israeli town known as Abu Gosh has prepared the world's largest platter of Hummus, breaking a world record recently set in Lebanon. Lebanon had taken the distinction of home of the largest plate of Hummus from Israel, what had held it previously, but now the honour of this dubious distinction returns to the Israeli-Arab town of Abu Gosh, not far to the west of Jerusalem.

Some Lebanese seem sincerely upset that Israel produces and marks hummus at all, claiming that "...hummus is a Lebanese product..." and so Israel should not be selling it as an Israeli product. In fact, they don't even want Israel to be allowed to call the chickpea paste Hummus. Officials as high as the Lebanese tourist minister said "We have no objection that other people do hummus but they should know that it is Lebanese. They (Israelis) should find a name other than hummus because this is a Lebanese name." This is an interesting assertion because it seems that it's untrue.

While most sources agree that they have no idea where Hummus originated, the most suspected sources seem to be either Syria, Egypt or even Saladin. No source seems to suggest Lebanon though. Moreover, the word Hummus is Arabic for "Chick Pea" and is not a distinctly Lebanese word, or distinct to Lebanese Arabic, it's an Arabic one. This seems to make the whole debate seem somewhat...petty.

To boot, given that Hummus is an Arabic word and even Israelis agree that the dish is an Arabic one, it is utterly ignored that those that prepared the worlds largest dish in Israel, are actually Arabs. I wonder if the Lebanese were as outraged when Palestinians claimed that Hummus was theirs.

Lebanon now says that they're hoping to reclaim the record by making a giant plate of Hummus right on the Israeli border. This is obviously nothing more than an attempt to kidnap Israeli soldiers as they are undoubtedly counting on hapless IDF soldiers to try to cross the border in droves to try and get at that Hummus-y goodness. Hezbollah must be behind it.

Maybe, instead, all this hummus could be combined for the greater good, such as firefighting as it was (ridiculously) in the Adam Sandler film "You Don't Mess With the Zohan." Just imagine the good that would bring.



More seriously though, It's much nicer to worry about ludicrous bickering over Hummus than it is to have to deal with actual violence. Keep up the pettiness. May this be the biggest conflict Israel and Lebanon ever face again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I also hear that the Lebanese are desperately trying to take away the world record for plastic surgeries from Hollywood. If I was Arnold Schwarzenegger, I would seriously invest into training more plastic surgeons. We just can't have that.

A friend.